History of the Great Balex and Balexia

This continuation of ancient history follows on from "Universal Chronicles".

So, the story continues, three universes float in peace inside Barry Feng. They are the Dackiverse, Bishaanverse and the Bubverse. Many billions of years after the creation of the newest universe, the Bubverse, a new universe was foretold.

It all started when Bishaan got angry at Dacky for throwing away his calculations. In fact it was Barry who reminded him of the incident. Barry did this to cause some chaos, as he was very bored. Bishaan got aggressive and charged at Dacky. He soon realised he was charging too fast and tried to slow down, but gravitation got the hold of the two. No matter how hard they tried, their huge masses slowly pulled them together. Second by second, they accelerated at each other, faster and faster. Suddenly, a huge boom reverberated through hyperspace. The two had collided with unparalleled force. In fact, the force was so immense, that a new universe exploded into existence during the collision.This incident was known as the "Big Bang". The new universe expanded quickly and soon enough, a miniature Barry was revealed to have been created in the centre of the new universe. Barry Feng watched the whole incident and looked on pleased at his creation. Barry rightfully named the miniature Barry, "Balex".

Balex was still young. He was developing and he received his nutrition through a gigantic doughnut that had connected to his body via an umbilical cord.

Meanwhile, Bishaan and Dacky were recovering from the collision. When they became conscious, Barry Feng showed them the great creation they had made. Bishaan and Dacky were amazed. They were happy that out of their animosity, new life was created.

After developing for about two billion years, Balex grew up. The doughnut detached from his body but he kept it never the less. The doughnut eventually become Balex's lifelong best friend and Balex never let it out of his sight. Since Balex had matured, he took control of his universe. He became the god of his universe, just like Bishaan, Dacky and Bub. It was at this time that he was entitled to the name, "the Great Balex". Balex got to work. He made all the subatomic particles, their antiparticles, and gave them their masses, charge, and spin, deciding that they would interact in accordance to the four fundamental interactions from which all the laws of physics were derived. Many of these laws we know of, while the others remain a mystery to modern science. He set up the matter so that it would condense to form galaxies, stars and eventually planets. Balex was a skilled god of unimaginable magnitudes.

Even though the Great Balex was a great god, during this process, the great divine light that Balex created did not reach all the corners of the universe. As a result, pockets of darkness lurked around silently. It manifested into a single being named "Georgy Orgy". After coming into existence, Georgy Orgy attacks the early Earth. The Great Balex repels Georgy Orgy away, and he plummets to the deep dark realms of the universe. He is soon forgotten but plans revenge upon Earth. Sid had used his powers to create a vaccine against Georgy Orgy. Beer, Sid's apprentice, embarked on a journey to save the population of Earth from Ebola and ultimately, destroy Georgy Orgy.

After setting up the universe, Balex had to wait for it to finish forming. During the billions of years it took, Balex got bored. He thought of many things to do. Maybe play doughnut Frisbee? Maybe roll around in space? Then it struck him. He could create a planet dedicated to himself. And so he did. With great godly powers he zapped a planet into existence. He named it "Balexia".

At the same time, the early Earth was taking shape. Though no signs of life had developed yet.

Balex created Balexia just like his dream planet. It had many, many riches. It had doughnut mountains, cake cliffs, gumdrop fields, glucose oceans and fairy floss clouds. Balex was proud of his creation. After this, Balex zapped Balexians onto the planet. Balexians all resembled the Great Balex and had the same thoughts, language and eating habits. To govern the the planet, he created four godly Balexians. These Balexians were called Greed, Laziness, Kindness, and Patience. These values, were the values that the Great Balex had, but he split them up. The four godly Balexians weren't able to communicate to the normal Balexian population and this seemed to cause many problems. So as a act of selflessness, the Great Balex offered his best friend, his doughnut. The doughnut offered telepathic abilities as all Balexians had a special connection to doughnuts. So it came to be, the four godly Balexians acted like prophets and preached the ideas and beliefs of the Great Balex via the doughnut. It was then, that the doughnut became known as the "Sacred Doughnut".

Many years went by and the Balexians slowly developed culture and traditions. They lived under the belief that the Great Balex was their leader. It was their religion. Different dialects of Balexian were developed but they still remained mutually intelligible. As a matter of fact, Balexian sounds very similar to sarcastic English. Diets from the different parts of Balexia varied too, but they all consisted of a core diet of sugary foods, especially doughnuts. All Balexians were rich. Money could be harvested from cash trees that grew all over Balexia and there were many caves which provided countless priceless gems. These were commonly found in cake cliffs.

All was fine and peace was prevalent but the Great Balex knew it wouldn't last. Animosities formed within the four godly Balexians. Greed and laziness wanted to overthrow kindness and patience as they thought they were a useless waste of godly blood. They were afraid that kindness and patience would interfere with their plans. And so, as a result, greed took all of patience's doughnuts. Patience was patient at first but his Balexian cravings for doughnuts kicked in. All hell broke loose on Balexia.

It was mayhem and chaos. The godly Balexians slammed each other to the ground, sending shock waves that shook the the whole planet. Kindness and Patience were on one side, and Laziness and Greed were on the other. They squashed each other, rolled over each other, threw doughnuts at each other and flung faeces made of precious metals at each other (the rapid ejection of metals from the butt's of the godly Balexians was influencial in the design of Bun's "Electromagnetic faecal ejection rail gun" weapon of mass destruction). The four tribes fought with great honour and valour, their weaponry provided by the legendary armourer "Bun" who managed to establish the "Bun Inc" corporation as a consequence of the war. Bun Inc grew to become a powerful private weapons dealer during the war and financed the creation of many Balexian militias throughout the war to ensure a steady profit. The war destroyed most of the planet and many civilian Balexians were killed in the process. After the bloody battle, Laziness and Greed came out as the victors, even though laziness' contribution is questionable. Slowly, they preached the remaining Balexians by themselves, distorting and corrupting the once sacred and divine religion. As a result, the Balexians slowly became increasingly greedy and lazy. Furthermore, Bun Inc had developed a profitable pact with greed and laziness which took advantage of Balexian civil riots by selling weaponry to multiple militias. In return, Bun Inc researched and developed a prototype for the first "Doughnut Shuttle" for the two Balexian gods as a symbol of gratitude. This conspiracy came to be known as the "L.G Bun Confederacy". The Great Balex was disappointed.

While all this occurred on Balexia, Earth was developing fast. Life was spawned by the Great Balex himself and evolved to become present day animals and humans. The humans developed technology, formed empires and created monuments. All this seemed normal, but it was about to change. While some farmers in ancient China were planting rice, one of the farmers noticed a long smooth object in the soil. He informed his fellow farmers and news quickly spread to the Emperor. The emperor commanded the excavation of the the object. It was very large and it spanned the length of the entire country. Finally, they unearthed it. It was a long tube, that seemed to resemble an umbilical cord. Nobody knew what it was exactly and where it came from. Wise men, philosophers and kings from all around the world gathered to solve the mystery. It was then, that one old wise man, claimed to have heard preachings from a far away land. He said he heard the preachings due to his diet of doughnuts. Nobody knew what doughnuts were then but they all listened to the man. The man said that the tube was the umbilical cord of the Great Balex, the universe's god. He said that the Great Balex used it to gain nutrition from a large doughnut. He finally mentioned that they would arrive at a mysterious planet if they were to go through the tube. Many people ventured through the tube. They were amazed at the sight.

The humans that had gone through the tube, appeared in the hole of the Sacred doughnut on Balexia. It was revealed that the umbilical cord was a portal that linked the two worlds. Humans were amazed at the lifestyle and the riches of Balexia despite the ongoing conflicts. Soon enough, Earth and Balexia formed good economic ties and Balexia became a popular tourist destination. But there was a twist. Any human who wished to return to Earth from Balexia would have to have their memory erased. This way, anything relating to Balexia was mostly kept a secret. The humans continued to develop. Soon they developed more advanced technology, such as electricity, computers and better transportation systems.

All seemed well. The humans influenced the Balexians so much that the Balexians became less greedy and lazy overtime. The Balexian Civil War gradually dissipated and the L.G Bun Confederacy was destroyed. Upon its destruction, the Doughnut shuttled was offered to the Great Balex himself by Laziness and Greed as repentance for their sins. Bun Inc remained a powerful corporation but shifted its efforts in favour of engineering and technology that greatly enhanced the advancement of Balexian civilisation.

But soon, great misfortune was to doom the humans. It all started when the Great Balex was having a chat with Dacky in hyperspace. Dacky was too funny and Balex started laughing. He laughed so hard that he chocked on his spit and coughed. A glob and spit flew into Barry's eyes as a result (Even though they were one dimensional, it still got in). Barry got mad and wiped it off and the spit plummeted back at Balex. It went right into him and into his universe. It was on a crash course with Balexia. The spit coated many Balexians but they were not affected. What was bad was that it infected many humans, some of whom, returned to Earth. The spit carried a Balexian disease. The human's called it "Balexititus". Its symptoms were not lethal but heavily impaired humans that were infected by it. It caused immense laziness, severe slurring when talking, bad stamina and endurance, memory loss and a slow metabolic rate which led to obesity. At first, infection was slow but soon, nearly the entire human population was infected. The symptoms rendered the human society obsolete and Earth fell into chaos. It was a catastrophe. No food were being produced due to lazy farmers, products weren't manufactured and laws were not enforced.

The Balexians saw this and felt pity. The humans had helped to end their civil war, yet they had ruined their planet. Because of this, the Balexians all chanted to the godly Balexians Laziness and Greed but it failed to produce a solution due to the fact that two of the godly Balexians had been killed in the Great Balexian War. They pleaded help from the Great Balex. The Great Balex, in a final act of selflessness, revived the two dead godly Balexians. After this, the Balexians were able to divinely connect with the Great Balex himself. As a result, the Great Balex conjured up a cure and said that every infected individual would have to take it. The problem was, they couldn't distribute all of the cure. That's when the Sacred doughnut came into use. The cure was poured onto the Sacred doughnut and was absorbed. All the humans were commanded to travel through the umbilical cord and eat a piece of the Sacred dougnut. Eventually, all the infected humans took a bite and was back to their normal selves. Even so, only one tenth of the doughnut was eaten, since it was so huge.

The Balexians saved the humans and the humans were grateful. Eventually, the Great Balex found interest in the human's way of life. And so, the Great Balex put his consciousness in a body that resembled his original. He arrived on Earth as a baby and was given a new name Alex Lu. He grew up and has become how he is today. He continues to explore the human world today and is currently at a boy's highschool with a human version of Barry Feng, Dacky Deng, Bishaan Bandey and Bub who also decided to explore the human environment with Balex.

This marks the end of the history of the Great Balex and Balexia.